Tuesday
8am breakfast (did show for that)
9am (back to bed)
11am Thai cooking lesson (still in bed)
12pm Lunch (still in bed)
1pm Thai language lesson (still in bed)
2pm walk round village (just made it, had to chase them up the street)
5pm Dinner
7pm local welcome party
This was cool. Children from the local school put on a traditional dance for us. They were beautifully dressed and really rocked the house! Then we all had to get up and join them....a lot of fun.
Wednesday and Thursday kind of passed in a blur of excessive drinking, diabolical singing (that's me and Laura), the eating of chili hotter than the sun, with every eal, (chef seems to like it), endless application of deet and an enormous 'monk' (excuse the pun)...on, as after an age trying to get a Thai top up card for international calling they don't bloody work!!! Oh and I do recall a bizarre spotting of a 'Monk' walking passed Laura, Maddy and I in Singburi town, carrying three bags of pampers??? More worrying we've got a Temple stay with them next week!!
Friday was pretty cool. After we all started believing it was actually Friday (can't believe the first week has gone already) we were off to the local school to help with class activities and teaching English. I was paired with Kayliegh (who's in my room) and we were shown to our year 9 class. At this point, all was good. However after about 30 seconds we both spontaneously burst into nervous sweat as we realised we were not 'helping' the teacher but actually taking the class ourselves!!! Jesus man it was a bit of a shock. 30, 9 year old boys and girls all looking in our direction eager to learn and expecting something entertaining at least. It was so lucky id bought some power balls, finger puppets, flash cards of animals and stickers from Oz to use, as we would have been stuffed (like some other peeps were). They were great and after a bit of “Heads, shoulders knees and toes” and footie outside they were loving it. I really enjoyed it. The hugs and grappling to hold my hands was quite touching too. We did have a few naughty buggers and a couple of awols through out class but generally they were well behaved. Only had to say “Hush” once and that felt totally wrong. so when any of them pissed about or started bouncing power balls all over the place, i got Kayliegh to shout at them. She wasn't much better than me though and we spent a lot of time cracking up while all hell broke loose around us. Gods knows how it sounded in the corridor. Bloody Zoo come to town probably!
Saturday
8.00am breakfast (no way)
9.30am All piled on bus to go to 'another temple' (nice)
12.00pm Left us for a two hour stint in the local 'Tesco'!! (Maddy, Laura and I said fuck that and got a tuk tuk to the nearest market for some 'real' Thai shopping)
6.00pm All piled onto a river boat for a yummy four course meal and karaoke (a lot of fun especially when the captain let me have a go steering. Oh and Laura almost fell over board....that was hilarious)!
Some of us stayed over in the province and booked ourselves into a local backpackers...we managed to get about 6 of us into a twin room and only paid about 1.25 each....id like to say cheap as chips...but in fact chips probably cost more.
That evening we all went out on the razz...got a tuk tuk to this Thai bar called Discovery. It was really off the beaten track and we were the only westerners in the whole place. Having said that it was cool...a real in site into Thai culture and socialising. Made a complete arse of myself (as usual) and had a ball dancing on the stage with the girls for all the club to gawp at.I cant imagine what the Thai's must have been thinking...the DJ liked it though he kept asking us to keep dancing as he was enjoying it and wanted to know what music we wanted. I later realised why he was so enthusiastic.....non of the locals were making any attempt to dance and were hard pushed to crack a smile...i think it's a kind of dignified thing, cause they don't allow any public shows of affection or touching between the sexes....an theres us lot gyrating and bouncing around all over the place...well at least they were entertained. After that went for a bowl of noodles and sang along with a Thai band in another little bar. Well actually when i say sang along i really mean we helped the band get through a rendition of 'Hotel California' as they appeared to having some trouble remembering the words! Actually that song seems to be very popular where ever we go. And after all that....we ended up getting mopeds back to the backpackers...no no we didn't ride them ourselves we got on the back of one each for about 40 baht which is only 40p. That was bonkers and awesome stuff.
Sunday
All up for a full English (everyone, me included starting to suffer the after effects of eating chili three times a day).
All off in a tuk tuk to a local monument and ruins. (very good and the best excursion yet)
All tucked into some more 'normal' food (mine was a tuna salad...been missing my fish see)
All off round the outskirts of the city on our very own mopeds...yes my first go on a bike and after a small crash into a drain and a couple of scary moments at the traffic lights I was burning it up. Had Maddy on the back though so had to curb my usual enthusiasm for speed. Don't mind killing myself...Maddy wouldn't have been to happy if id ended her very short life though.
Got stocked up on booze and a bucket of ice and piled on the bus back to the Eco house. Took about 1hour 45min and by the time we got back, we were smashed. Good laugh though and seeing as we'd missed dinner we proceeded to the bar and continued our already inebriated fun. So all in all that was a good end to the week....that was until i ended up thumbing a lift back off the main road, after being dumped off the back of a motorbike. I wont go into details just gonna say, I would have been alright if it hadn't have been for the Satan's hounds barking from all corners of the dark...Anyway a large G'n'T later and alls well that ends well.
Week 2
Cant keep up the hourly intinery as to be honest its pretty boring and generally filled with free time to wash clothes, eat and sunbath. However the rest of the time we have been out and about doing some interesting stuff. Monday we all went to another temple, this time it had the largest Buddha in Thailand on display...very impressive. We also gave food to the monks and then watched them eat it....not so impressive. That afternoon we all went to the temple that they live in and was introduced to chanting, meditation and general Monk behaviour....which to be honest consists of very little else. It was ok..bit like a massive pj party with all of us having to dress in white and sleep on floors next to each other. I thought that was a fun part and we did all kind of like playing cards and eating pringles and orios, but we all were of the same opinion that our expectations were not met and that the temple experience was a little contrived and not really an insight into monk culture and living. We got to see the local village (at 5.30am!!!) and receive offerings from the locals of some very strange looking food indeed and even though ill basically eat anything, this was an occasion when bowls with stuff resembling polystyrene and plates harbouring some sort of deep fried fat and goats testicles, i decided to give my already dicky tummy a break.
After dossing down with the monks we were rewarded to a night at a spa. Now when i think of the word spa i generally think of saunas, pool, tennis, wandering around in a white dressing gown, gym and all that type of stuff.....in Thailand things don't really pan out the way you think. Rooms were lovely and air conned and the food was nice too. However we had to pay for the facilities.....such as 1 Internet terminal that wasn't actually connected to anything, 1 horse to be led around on between 43 and a mini mart that we could purchase booze....but only till 11pm as the dining room closes. Being my first spa...i wasn't impressed, and as the staff spoke shit all English we all had to make do. I personally got in a golf buggy and ripped it round the course and then unfortunately was not able to avoid Rob who had the same idea and decided to crash head on into me (dickhead)! Plus it wasn't signed for in my name anyway, id taken charge from Richard and had all of us crammed in and hanging off the sides. Also got myself a Thai massage....very nice. Fully clothed job where they bend and prod and push and pull and possible knead all muscles in the body....pretty relaxing but a little painful at times. Nice cup of revolting honey tea and a head rub later and i was set for my bottle of red.
So donned in flowers, shaking a tambourine (stole it from the golf buggy....don't know what it was doing there) and immersed in deet, we all made our way to our next destination....the zoo. Actually this was pretty cool. Now if i were to speak from my moral tongue, id say it was too small for some animals and the parading of the orangutans in bloody illumines jumpers was despicable. (didn't even want a pic of that) However when i got there my moral side kind of took a back seat as the tigers, lions and leopards were beautiful and you could (if you were stupid enough too) put your hand on the fence and touch them as they walked passed. I also had an opportunity to bottle feed the tiger and lion cub and also carry a python round my neck....wicked man! Thai people have a totally different attitude to animals and well to most things really. In fact i find their no nonsense, practical methods with regards to traffic, food, footwear and happy positive out look really cool. Health and Safety means zilch over here and its great!! The only thing I ain't to happy about (with regards to the Thai organisers) is their random guess work explanations and totally inaccurate assumptions when answering any question we attempt to ask them.
The Chiang Mai weekend
So after about an hour to get scrubbed up and packed, back at the brown house the Chiang Mai taxi was ready to pick us up. Couldn't believe it was here already and we were actually gonna be able to escape the confinement and sometimes for me the suffocating closeness to the other gaper's. Don't get me wrong, their all cool (well most of them anyway), but after travelling by yourself for as long as i have you kind of get used to your own company and are happy that you can take people....or literally leave them. Plus the trip was totally independent and i think for a few of the posse they appreciated it more as it didn't feel like they were on a school trip and they could come and go as they please and not have anyone to answer to or reandevou with all the time. There were about 13 of us altogether and the whole trip as far as transport and digs are concerned only cost about 30-50 quid, so it was a real bargain. A proper treat to be able to get up north and explore another part of the country that wasn't on the 'real' itinerary. We had a Thai driver pumping some Asian techno into our air conned minibus and on arrival at Lopburi (had to get the train from here) we were already pumped ourselves. After a bit of time on the Internet...typing at about 200 mph as time and money were short... we all got the Hong Thong (whiskey) and pepsi max's in and proceeded to the platform. To be honest the train journey was pretty neat. All boozed up and feeling good we sipped our drinks (from baby beakers and cut up bits of plastic bottle) and spent a good couple of hours pissing off the other Thai's in the carrage who were actually trying to get some sleep....cant blame them really as it was a night train after all. In fact we left about 9pm and didnt get into Chaing mai until about 8am. On arrival Chiang Mai was totally bustling. It was a bhudda holiday as well i think, so the whole city was alive with mopeds, cars, buses, taxis, tuk tuk's, people, traders and for the first time since bangkok, other westerners. Got into a backpackers or guest house as they call them here. Ours was called 'Your House'. Spent the morning checking out the city and seeing what attractions were available for later. Made sure we knew where the local bars and markets were and whilst strolling about we came across a really cool thai lady who braided our hair and also gave us free ankle braclets for good luck. Actually she gave me two braids for the price of one....girls reckoned she mus have fancied me as she did comment on my eyes. It wouldnt have surprised me either as the amount of lady boys and extremely questionable humans walking about leaves you believing that in Thailand 'anything goes'. Also met a Thai guy in the street, who actually lives in Melbourne.He knew Victoria and Mildura and has a wife there...he was pretty cool and very friendly.
While in Thailand i was really hoping to get myself a Bamboo Tattoo. Apparently they are very symbolic and a particularly special experience that should not be passed on if its at all possible. However after meeting the others for lunch and going through a very painfully long and confusing conversation that involved me, the tattooist and some dude on a mobile (who's english was pathetic) I decided not to risk it and just get the bog standard version. 1000 bht (about 16 quid) later and i got a nice flower on my neck.
Ok...so whats next...oh yeah after the tattoo we all went and got some mopeds. Oh yes, once was not enough...i was raring to get back on that burning hump of leather. However Chiang Mai was definatley a different kettle of Thai fish! Much busier and a traffic mass that was completely bonkers. A total arse fuck of a lane system. Lights were red or green but with only a minority of the driving public actually paying any attention to them. All in all you may think its a bloody stupid idea to jump on a moped (for only the second time in my life) and attempt a journey to some waterfall or lake, with maddy putting her life in my hands...yet again...well thats what we did and within 30 minutes we were completely lost. Laura was on the verge of a heart attack, maddy was beginning to lose the plot over the make shift map she had scribbled on a receipt and me....i was just glad we'd made it...somewhere! It was a good laugh and we eventually met some of the others and actually had to follow their tuk tuk back to base as we didnt know the way. It was very funny and we didnt have a scratch on us... which is more than can be said for the boys. Mike took one lap round the ring road and on return with a bloody knee simply said “Fuck that”. A couple of the girls and Steve opted for the tuk tuk (the safest choice) and Graham (funniest and bravest of all) fell off 4 times and was in a right mess. But he was still smiling and a good sport.
That night we all went out on the obligatory razz and (especially laura and I) made a bee line for the number one backpacker bar called johns place. Well that was a non event as it was full of couples and old guys eyeing up the Thai totty. No matter, off to the Thai Boxing ring to meet the boys and witness some more very disturbing ladyboys parading themselves in next to nothing...feeling up the crotche's of pensioners. Couldn't cope with silicon valley for long and got the hell away from that place only to find ourselves in a club called 'Spicy'. A lot of techno and trance so a lot of crazy jumping and mental dancing on my part (you now what im like). The club did appear to be somewhat like a massive knocking shop and quite an eye opener for some of the younger dudes in the group. 1 obligatory cheese burger later and off to kip for about 3 hours before we were on our way back again. It was a really nice weekend and we were so glad we had bothered to make the effort and get ourselves out and about. On return we were a bit cream crackered but a unanimous cheer for a wicked weekend was raised and a memory we'll all share for when we eventually go our seperate ways.
Week 3-Jungle Trekking
Day 1
All clambered on buses along with all our backpacks and endless bottles of water and snacks. As we were going to be in the jungle we had to make sure we bought enough water for the week. Our bus even had a massive basket of green beans, cabbages and other green veggies. Our first stop was Suphanburi where we camped in our pop up tents for 1 night. Middle of no-where (yet again) but at least we got a esky of chang and some ipod speakers which i bought in Chiang Mai and a deck of cards. Also decided to have a hat party....shit man we must have been bored...either that or we were all exhausted by the long and very hot bus ride and so were showing the first signs of delerium... Oh and I also lost my sun glasses, so they will be forever lost in the Thai jungle waiting for either another 'real gap' kid to find them or to be discovered millions of ears from now...
Day 2
first morning, woke to find a lot of dew on the tent. Breakfast was a peanut butter and pineapple jam sandwich...mmmmmm. All bags back on bus and off to our permanant location about 1 or 2 hours into the forest. 40 degrees, open deforresed landscape, no shelter, Asian toilet, no showers or running water and a pack of growling hounds surrounding us....great i thought...what an excellent idea i had, choosing this shit house retreat. Well it sounds worse than it was...ok ok maybe a lot of it actually is like it sounds but i aint one to complain about every minor detail and i kind of expected to rough it for the week, so i just got on with it. Intimate wipes, bottled water and a resilient attitide, sore me through it. Chang (beer) and Spy (wine spritzer) also helped me tolerate the pretty boggy standards we were forced to lower ourselves too. 10Am headed out for our first trek to a waterfall and general hike over some mountain ranges and grass lands. Ok, not too bad but as the heat is hitting mid-forties and the humidity is about 80% you definitely felt it in your limbs and muscles way before you would have if you had walked in the early hours or in cooler temperatures. After te first days trekking, Sophie and I were (we're sharing a tent), joined the rest of the crew for a bit of dinner (rice orientated) and then helped get the camp fire going. I love a good fire and can sit and watch the flaming embers forever. Its really calming and absolutely beautiful to watch while the sun goes down behind. We ended the evening sitting round the fire with the Thai guides singing the most random songs to their guitar. Didnt expect them to know 'Zombie' or 'When you say nothing at all'.....what?!?! Weird man..but very funny especially as none of us can actually get any further than the chorus and it was a pathetic effort all round.
Day 3
Ipod (Thai name peepod), Ranger Danger (thai name Joe) and Driver formally known as S (Thai name S) were our guides for the trekking. Having had a shit nights sleep, Sophie and i having read a sign on the tent that said made by 'the tactical army unit'....agreed that must be the midget end of the corps, We took a days walk to another local waterfall (hardly any water as dry season so only a splash about could be had) and a harey decent into some pretty tight caves,...(must add here that only a few of us had bloody torches, the rest had to adopt telepathy and a bloody awesome sense of direction and visionary expertise, as ranger danger often disappeared only to be found waiting on the other side of a gap in the rock face, beckoning us to follow on our hands and knees....then once we had accomplished this rather knee battering task, we found that we all had to turn around and go back....jesus weapt man. Dont get me wrong the caves were awesome and as i dont get clautraphobic i enjoyed the narrow openings and spooky moments, however a total lack of final destination and interesting reason for being in the caves left me feeling a bit deflated. Not to mention fucking stinking and cut to shreds!
We all got back about 1ish and were told that was it for the day....unless we wanted to go for a walk up the nearby mountain, which was about 1500 meters high and looked pretty verticle from where i was sitting. To be honest i wasnt gonna bother and was happy just lyeing down sipping my Chang, listening to my sounds and taking in some rays. However a good few were gonna do it including maddy and Laura and i really couldn't watch them 2 go off and then boast about it later....so at the last minute i decided to join them. A thought i mulled over and pondered a lot when i found myself half dead, sweating what was left of my exhausted soul and on the point of mental breakdown with only 40% of the verticle rock to climb. Needless to say, i made it...last of course but i made it all the same. Got a few cool photos and a really beautiful view of the landscape. In fact while i looked out onto the camp below and panned across at the hill tops and forrests, i believed i had made a good decision choosing to join the project. If i had travelled independentley i may not have been able to see such glorious countryside or real Thailand people and communities.
Day 4
Now this was probably the most physically demanding day ive had for a very long time. The inner core of my being had been tested to the max and my sense of humour was on zero! Let me explain....10am start on a supposedly 10km trek along flat terrain to a local village for some lunch and interaction. The trek wasnt on the intinary but they decided not to take us back to brwon house and thought it would be better if we visited the thai people and get another days trakking in aswell. Ok no problem with that...however we all sensed things were'nt really going to plan when the guide got lost within the first 10 minutes. The scenario tat followed consisted of a 90 degree accent up to another path, an hour of walking through thick bush up and down hills (aint too flat so far) then a short stop while the guides get a quick fag and we all sit around asking when will we get there and whens lunch. Long story short...after 4 hours of being told “another 30 minutes” or “just over the next hill” we finally arrived at the village. This was not before most of the troops were going purely on adrenalin, anger and the thought of a cold drink. While Laura and I were slumped on a rock, reduced to crying, followed by dilerious laughing as we were mentally, missing in action! We must have been totally recked as we were seriously considering getting a phone and calling for a helicopter to came and pick us up. The trek was in open grass land and the heat was unreal. The trek must have been about 20km and there was a disturbing rumour that we would have to trek back the same way.....a unanimous “fuck that shit” was heard and point blank refusal. I was so exhausted that i was willing to actually live at the village rather than walk that distance again!! The guides were'nt too hot on the idea either and eventually a couple of trucks were found and we all got lifts back to camp instead. Infact I later found out that they hadn't actually been to this village before and didn't necessarily know how far it was. Looks like we were giunea pigs on that one, but i dont think they will keeping that one for the project.
The village was really nice and the people were fascinated by us....probably because they had never seen white people before...christ man that was weird. They seem to like us though and even though we were all red faced, knackered and effing and blinding we all made an effort to interact with them.
So, dehydrated delerium, ebbing into history and another Thai experience waiting for us....The local tribe came and fed us some tasty rice and pork in banana leaves made in the traditional way. The children did a really nice traditional dance and were beautiful in their gowns and painted faces, however im not able to elaborate on the tribal people as no sooner had they arrived the bloody heavens opened and it pissed down! What a fucking nightmare....i really wanted to speak to the kids and say thank you but they had to scarper as the truck would have got bogged on their return. And that was the start of the evenings shenanigans.....
Intermittent rain, roaring thunder, spectacular lightening and a raging wind had most of the camp in disarray. A totally chaotic scene of flooded belongings, airborn tents, angry and screaming nutters, growling and barking dogs, cackles of hysterical laughter and the regular flash of cameras, set the basic tone for our last night on the hill top. Hong Thong and Pepsi along with chang and a stash pringles, set the tone for the rest of the time. It was like a bad year at Glastonbury!
Day 5
We were not happy campers....
Most of us were evacuated from our tents the night before, as they were either de-pegged or resembling a small paddling pool inside. Plus the organisers were all nice and snug in their tents and hardly raised an eye brow on hearing the news that a lot of peoples stuff was close to distruction and we were about 4 to a tent for some. I think its just their way myself....as Thai people rarely get angry or bothered or stressed and what would appear to look like an uncaring attitude is in actual fact their relaxed thoughtful persona.
However that drama over and we were all packed for our next camp....'The Dam'. Actually its more like a massive lake and i didnt recall seeing the dam bit. We were at least able to sleep in a local persons house in a big living room with lot of sockets!!!
Plus it was the night of the 'Full Moon Party' and seeing as we were all stuck in the middle of no-where we decided to have one of our own. On the pier over looking the dam, with karaoke and beer, watching the orange orb set and the silver white of the moon, majestically appear behind the clouds. We gazed out over a canvas of sparkling water and silhouetted trees. It was pretty spectacular and the air was filled with a positive charge that encouraged us all to enjoy the evening as much as possible and forget all about the previous days fiasco.
I personally had a ball...right up until i sat on a rubber ring only to find it was perched on the edge of some wooden boards and there was hardly any air in the thing!!!....Arse over tit and id fallen onto the next bit of pier, frantically making sure my camera and purse were ok.....my beer went sideways into Alice's surprised hands and my head hit the deck. I thought Laura was gonna wet herself and I had given in to crying with laughter, spread eagle, wandering if anyone else had seen...
The night carried on though and once my pride had recovered i quickly sank my beer and got involved with the horrendous singing and jumping on the decking...there were limbs everywhere and im sure Finch put his foot through a plank or two...
Day 6
Woke to find Mr. Cold and Co. had moved in upstairs. On looking in the mirror my chin has erupted into mount vesuevio and speaking at the moment is a little uncomfortable as my throat appears to be filled with some undescribable shit.
Add to that lovely collection of annoying discoveries, my finger nails are permenantly black, my legs are resembling a yeti and i give off a beautifully pungeont odore of deet and tiger balm. An attractive mix...
I knew all this boozing and eating of copeus amounts of crisps, sugary drinks and a diet predomenantly consisting of rice, was gonna start paying me back sooner or later. So, a decision to sort it out has been made, and seeing as today was the hotel stay, i think my timing was perfect. Im not the only one. A gap of sometimes 12 years between myself and the crew, doesnt mean a gap in the suffering of bodily ailments and general symptoms of tiredness, heat exhaustion, blisters, dehydration and a lack of vitamin c. We're all enjoying immensley, just having to ajust to temperatures and food that our guts are in constant war with, does tend to take the shine off certain moments.
Saturday- Suphanburi hotel
Had the best nights sleep since this whole experience started. The matress wasnt exactley brilliamt but the fact that there was air con, mini bar and even shit TV made all the difference. Not one for needing too much in the way of luxuries, i felt my body was definalely in need of something above the latest scumville ive been living in. Also found out today that my Ipod screen is buggered. I can still shuffle songs and the sound is fine but its pretty wrecked, so not even i escaped the floodings last thursday.
After breakfast......sorry just getting distracted by 'PK' one of the Thai organisers, cackling some pigeon english at the coach about the fact that the coach is too small for all the luggage and so it will follow us on another bus to Ko Samet. This is now followed by murmurings of docontent and utter annoyance at yet another disorganised fiasco....hahaha i love it. Its one thing after another with this lot. Thai people are so layed back their practically horizontal. I dont think brits are used to it and especially not happy that we've just heard the bags (my passport and flight tickets included) are outside the hotel with no supervision or idea of where they are supposed to be going. Fuck it....if any of my stuff goes missing I know ill be making sure they reinburse or replace them, so i aint fussing.
Well as you probably worked out by now we are all on board the coach raring to get to the island for a week of free time to explore or for most of them....lye on the beach all week. Cant believe the final week is upon us. Its gone so quickly and i keep thinking back to when i said goodbye to lucy at the coach station in Mildura.
8am breakfast (did show for that)
9am (back to bed)
11am Thai cooking lesson (still in bed)
12pm Lunch (still in bed)
1pm Thai language lesson (still in bed)
2pm walk round village (just made it, had to chase them up the street)
5pm Dinner
7pm local welcome party
This was cool. Children from the local school put on a traditional dance for us. They were beautifully dressed and really rocked the house! Then we all had to get up and join them....a lot of fun.
Wednesday and Thursday kind of passed in a blur of excessive drinking, diabolical singing (that's me and Laura), the eating of chili hotter than the sun, with every eal, (chef seems to like it), endless application of deet and an enormous 'monk' (excuse the pun)...on, as after an age trying to get a Thai top up card for international calling they don't bloody work!!! Oh and I do recall a bizarre spotting of a 'Monk' walking passed Laura, Maddy and I in Singburi town, carrying three bags of pampers??? More worrying we've got a Temple stay with them next week!!
Friday was pretty cool. After we all started believing it was actually Friday (can't believe the first week has gone already) we were off to the local school to help with class activities and teaching English. I was paired with Kayliegh (who's in my room) and we were shown to our year 9 class. At this point, all was good. However after about 30 seconds we both spontaneously burst into nervous sweat as we realised we were not 'helping' the teacher but actually taking the class ourselves!!! Jesus man it was a bit of a shock. 30, 9 year old boys and girls all looking in our direction eager to learn and expecting something entertaining at least. It was so lucky id bought some power balls, finger puppets, flash cards of animals and stickers from Oz to use, as we would have been stuffed (like some other peeps were). They were great and after a bit of “Heads, shoulders knees and toes” and footie outside they were loving it. I really enjoyed it. The hugs and grappling to hold my hands was quite touching too. We did have a few naughty buggers and a couple of awols through out class but generally they were well behaved. Only had to say “Hush” once and that felt totally wrong. so when any of them pissed about or started bouncing power balls all over the place, i got Kayliegh to shout at them. She wasn't much better than me though and we spent a lot of time cracking up while all hell broke loose around us. Gods knows how it sounded in the corridor. Bloody Zoo come to town probably!
Saturday
8.00am breakfast (no way)
9.30am All piled on bus to go to 'another temple' (nice)
12.00pm Left us for a two hour stint in the local 'Tesco'!! (Maddy, Laura and I said fuck that and got a tuk tuk to the nearest market for some 'real' Thai shopping)
6.00pm All piled onto a river boat for a yummy four course meal and karaoke (a lot of fun especially when the captain let me have a go steering. Oh and Laura almost fell over board....that was hilarious)!
Some of us stayed over in the province and booked ourselves into a local backpackers...we managed to get about 6 of us into a twin room and only paid about 1.25 each....id like to say cheap as chips...but in fact chips probably cost more.
That evening we all went out on the razz...got a tuk tuk to this Thai bar called Discovery. It was really off the beaten track and we were the only westerners in the whole place. Having said that it was cool...a real in site into Thai culture and socialising. Made a complete arse of myself (as usual) and had a ball dancing on the stage with the girls for all the club to gawp at.I cant imagine what the Thai's must have been thinking...the DJ liked it though he kept asking us to keep dancing as he was enjoying it and wanted to know what music we wanted. I later realised why he was so enthusiastic.....non of the locals were making any attempt to dance and were hard pushed to crack a smile...i think it's a kind of dignified thing, cause they don't allow any public shows of affection or touching between the sexes....an theres us lot gyrating and bouncing around all over the place...well at least they were entertained. After that went for a bowl of noodles and sang along with a Thai band in another little bar. Well actually when i say sang along i really mean we helped the band get through a rendition of 'Hotel California' as they appeared to having some trouble remembering the words! Actually that song seems to be very popular where ever we go. And after all that....we ended up getting mopeds back to the backpackers...no no we didn't ride them ourselves we got on the back of one each for about 40 baht which is only 40p. That was bonkers and awesome stuff.
Sunday
All up for a full English (everyone, me included starting to suffer the after effects of eating chili three times a day).
All off in a tuk tuk to a local monument and ruins. (very good and the best excursion yet)
All tucked into some more 'normal' food (mine was a tuna salad...been missing my fish see)
All off round the outskirts of the city on our very own mopeds...yes my first go on a bike and after a small crash into a drain and a couple of scary moments at the traffic lights I was burning it up. Had Maddy on the back though so had to curb my usual enthusiasm for speed. Don't mind killing myself...Maddy wouldn't have been to happy if id ended her very short life though.
Got stocked up on booze and a bucket of ice and piled on the bus back to the Eco house. Took about 1hour 45min and by the time we got back, we were smashed. Good laugh though and seeing as we'd missed dinner we proceeded to the bar and continued our already inebriated fun. So all in all that was a good end to the week....that was until i ended up thumbing a lift back off the main road, after being dumped off the back of a motorbike. I wont go into details just gonna say, I would have been alright if it hadn't have been for the Satan's hounds barking from all corners of the dark...Anyway a large G'n'T later and alls well that ends well.
Week 2
Cant keep up the hourly intinery as to be honest its pretty boring and generally filled with free time to wash clothes, eat and sunbath. However the rest of the time we have been out and about doing some interesting stuff. Monday we all went to another temple, this time it had the largest Buddha in Thailand on display...very impressive. We also gave food to the monks and then watched them eat it....not so impressive. That afternoon we all went to the temple that they live in and was introduced to chanting, meditation and general Monk behaviour....which to be honest consists of very little else. It was ok..bit like a massive pj party with all of us having to dress in white and sleep on floors next to each other. I thought that was a fun part and we did all kind of like playing cards and eating pringles and orios, but we all were of the same opinion that our expectations were not met and that the temple experience was a little contrived and not really an insight into monk culture and living. We got to see the local village (at 5.30am!!!) and receive offerings from the locals of some very strange looking food indeed and even though ill basically eat anything, this was an occasion when bowls with stuff resembling polystyrene and plates harbouring some sort of deep fried fat and goats testicles, i decided to give my already dicky tummy a break.
After dossing down with the monks we were rewarded to a night at a spa. Now when i think of the word spa i generally think of saunas, pool, tennis, wandering around in a white dressing gown, gym and all that type of stuff.....in Thailand things don't really pan out the way you think. Rooms were lovely and air conned and the food was nice too. However we had to pay for the facilities.....such as 1 Internet terminal that wasn't actually connected to anything, 1 horse to be led around on between 43 and a mini mart that we could purchase booze....but only till 11pm as the dining room closes. Being my first spa...i wasn't impressed, and as the staff spoke shit all English we all had to make do. I personally got in a golf buggy and ripped it round the course and then unfortunately was not able to avoid Rob who had the same idea and decided to crash head on into me (dickhead)! Plus it wasn't signed for in my name anyway, id taken charge from Richard and had all of us crammed in and hanging off the sides. Also got myself a Thai massage....very nice. Fully clothed job where they bend and prod and push and pull and possible knead all muscles in the body....pretty relaxing but a little painful at times. Nice cup of revolting honey tea and a head rub later and i was set for my bottle of red.
So donned in flowers, shaking a tambourine (stole it from the golf buggy....don't know what it was doing there) and immersed in deet, we all made our way to our next destination....the zoo. Actually this was pretty cool. Now if i were to speak from my moral tongue, id say it was too small for some animals and the parading of the orangutans in bloody illumines jumpers was despicable. (didn't even want a pic of that) However when i got there my moral side kind of took a back seat as the tigers, lions and leopards were beautiful and you could (if you were stupid enough too) put your hand on the fence and touch them as they walked passed. I also had an opportunity to bottle feed the tiger and lion cub and also carry a python round my neck....wicked man! Thai people have a totally different attitude to animals and well to most things really. In fact i find their no nonsense, practical methods with regards to traffic, food, footwear and happy positive out look really cool. Health and Safety means zilch over here and its great!! The only thing I ain't to happy about (with regards to the Thai organisers) is their random guess work explanations and totally inaccurate assumptions when answering any question we attempt to ask them.
The Chiang Mai weekend
So after about an hour to get scrubbed up and packed, back at the brown house the Chiang Mai taxi was ready to pick us up. Couldn't believe it was here already and we were actually gonna be able to escape the confinement and sometimes for me the suffocating closeness to the other gaper's. Don't get me wrong, their all cool (well most of them anyway), but after travelling by yourself for as long as i have you kind of get used to your own company and are happy that you can take people....or literally leave them. Plus the trip was totally independent and i think for a few of the posse they appreciated it more as it didn't feel like they were on a school trip and they could come and go as they please and not have anyone to answer to or reandevou with all the time. There were about 13 of us altogether and the whole trip as far as transport and digs are concerned only cost about 30-50 quid, so it was a real bargain. A proper treat to be able to get up north and explore another part of the country that wasn't on the 'real' itinerary. We had a Thai driver pumping some Asian techno into our air conned minibus and on arrival at Lopburi (had to get the train from here) we were already pumped ourselves. After a bit of time on the Internet...typing at about 200 mph as time and money were short... we all got the Hong Thong (whiskey) and pepsi max's in and proceeded to the platform. To be honest the train journey was pretty neat. All boozed up and feeling good we sipped our drinks (from baby beakers and cut up bits of plastic bottle) and spent a good couple of hours pissing off the other Thai's in the carrage who were actually trying to get some sleep....cant blame them really as it was a night train after all. In fact we left about 9pm and didnt get into Chaing mai until about 8am. On arrival Chiang Mai was totally bustling. It was a bhudda holiday as well i think, so the whole city was alive with mopeds, cars, buses, taxis, tuk tuk's, people, traders and for the first time since bangkok, other westerners. Got into a backpackers or guest house as they call them here. Ours was called 'Your House'. Spent the morning checking out the city and seeing what attractions were available for later. Made sure we knew where the local bars and markets were and whilst strolling about we came across a really cool thai lady who braided our hair and also gave us free ankle braclets for good luck. Actually she gave me two braids for the price of one....girls reckoned she mus have fancied me as she did comment on my eyes. It wouldnt have surprised me either as the amount of lady boys and extremely questionable humans walking about leaves you believing that in Thailand 'anything goes'. Also met a Thai guy in the street, who actually lives in Melbourne.He knew Victoria and Mildura and has a wife there...he was pretty cool and very friendly.
While in Thailand i was really hoping to get myself a Bamboo Tattoo. Apparently they are very symbolic and a particularly special experience that should not be passed on if its at all possible. However after meeting the others for lunch and going through a very painfully long and confusing conversation that involved me, the tattooist and some dude on a mobile (who's english was pathetic) I decided not to risk it and just get the bog standard version. 1000 bht (about 16 quid) later and i got a nice flower on my neck.
Ok...so whats next...oh yeah after the tattoo we all went and got some mopeds. Oh yes, once was not enough...i was raring to get back on that burning hump of leather. However Chiang Mai was definatley a different kettle of Thai fish! Much busier and a traffic mass that was completely bonkers. A total arse fuck of a lane system. Lights were red or green but with only a minority of the driving public actually paying any attention to them. All in all you may think its a bloody stupid idea to jump on a moped (for only the second time in my life) and attempt a journey to some waterfall or lake, with maddy putting her life in my hands...yet again...well thats what we did and within 30 minutes we were completely lost. Laura was on the verge of a heart attack, maddy was beginning to lose the plot over the make shift map she had scribbled on a receipt and me....i was just glad we'd made it...somewhere! It was a good laugh and we eventually met some of the others and actually had to follow their tuk tuk back to base as we didnt know the way. It was very funny and we didnt have a scratch on us... which is more than can be said for the boys. Mike took one lap round the ring road and on return with a bloody knee simply said “Fuck that”. A couple of the girls and Steve opted for the tuk tuk (the safest choice) and Graham (funniest and bravest of all) fell off 4 times and was in a right mess. But he was still smiling and a good sport.
That night we all went out on the obligatory razz and (especially laura and I) made a bee line for the number one backpacker bar called johns place. Well that was a non event as it was full of couples and old guys eyeing up the Thai totty. No matter, off to the Thai Boxing ring to meet the boys and witness some more very disturbing ladyboys parading themselves in next to nothing...feeling up the crotche's of pensioners. Couldn't cope with silicon valley for long and got the hell away from that place only to find ourselves in a club called 'Spicy'. A lot of techno and trance so a lot of crazy jumping and mental dancing on my part (you now what im like). The club did appear to be somewhat like a massive knocking shop and quite an eye opener for some of the younger dudes in the group. 1 obligatory cheese burger later and off to kip for about 3 hours before we were on our way back again. It was a really nice weekend and we were so glad we had bothered to make the effort and get ourselves out and about. On return we were a bit cream crackered but a unanimous cheer for a wicked weekend was raised and a memory we'll all share for when we eventually go our seperate ways.
Week 3-Jungle Trekking
Day 1
All clambered on buses along with all our backpacks and endless bottles of water and snacks. As we were going to be in the jungle we had to make sure we bought enough water for the week. Our bus even had a massive basket of green beans, cabbages and other green veggies. Our first stop was Suphanburi where we camped in our pop up tents for 1 night. Middle of no-where (yet again) but at least we got a esky of chang and some ipod speakers which i bought in Chiang Mai and a deck of cards. Also decided to have a hat party....shit man we must have been bored...either that or we were all exhausted by the long and very hot bus ride and so were showing the first signs of delerium... Oh and I also lost my sun glasses, so they will be forever lost in the Thai jungle waiting for either another 'real gap' kid to find them or to be discovered millions of ears from now...
Day 2
first morning, woke to find a lot of dew on the tent. Breakfast was a peanut butter and pineapple jam sandwich...mmmmmm. All bags back on bus and off to our permanant location about 1 or 2 hours into the forest. 40 degrees, open deforresed landscape, no shelter, Asian toilet, no showers or running water and a pack of growling hounds surrounding us....great i thought...what an excellent idea i had, choosing this shit house retreat. Well it sounds worse than it was...ok ok maybe a lot of it actually is like it sounds but i aint one to complain about every minor detail and i kind of expected to rough it for the week, so i just got on with it. Intimate wipes, bottled water and a resilient attitide, sore me through it. Chang (beer) and Spy (wine spritzer) also helped me tolerate the pretty boggy standards we were forced to lower ourselves too. 10Am headed out for our first trek to a waterfall and general hike over some mountain ranges and grass lands. Ok, not too bad but as the heat is hitting mid-forties and the humidity is about 80% you definitely felt it in your limbs and muscles way before you would have if you had walked in the early hours or in cooler temperatures. After te first days trekking, Sophie and I were (we're sharing a tent), joined the rest of the crew for a bit of dinner (rice orientated) and then helped get the camp fire going. I love a good fire and can sit and watch the flaming embers forever. Its really calming and absolutely beautiful to watch while the sun goes down behind. We ended the evening sitting round the fire with the Thai guides singing the most random songs to their guitar. Didnt expect them to know 'Zombie' or 'When you say nothing at all'.....what?!?! Weird man..but very funny especially as none of us can actually get any further than the chorus and it was a pathetic effort all round.
Day 3
Ipod (Thai name peepod), Ranger Danger (thai name Joe) and Driver formally known as S (Thai name S) were our guides for the trekking. Having had a shit nights sleep, Sophie and i having read a sign on the tent that said made by 'the tactical army unit'....agreed that must be the midget end of the corps, We took a days walk to another local waterfall (hardly any water as dry season so only a splash about could be had) and a harey decent into some pretty tight caves,...(must add here that only a few of us had bloody torches, the rest had to adopt telepathy and a bloody awesome sense of direction and visionary expertise, as ranger danger often disappeared only to be found waiting on the other side of a gap in the rock face, beckoning us to follow on our hands and knees....then once we had accomplished this rather knee battering task, we found that we all had to turn around and go back....jesus weapt man. Dont get me wrong the caves were awesome and as i dont get clautraphobic i enjoyed the narrow openings and spooky moments, however a total lack of final destination and interesting reason for being in the caves left me feeling a bit deflated. Not to mention fucking stinking and cut to shreds!
We all got back about 1ish and were told that was it for the day....unless we wanted to go for a walk up the nearby mountain, which was about 1500 meters high and looked pretty verticle from where i was sitting. To be honest i wasnt gonna bother and was happy just lyeing down sipping my Chang, listening to my sounds and taking in some rays. However a good few were gonna do it including maddy and Laura and i really couldn't watch them 2 go off and then boast about it later....so at the last minute i decided to join them. A thought i mulled over and pondered a lot when i found myself half dead, sweating what was left of my exhausted soul and on the point of mental breakdown with only 40% of the verticle rock to climb. Needless to say, i made it...last of course but i made it all the same. Got a few cool photos and a really beautiful view of the landscape. In fact while i looked out onto the camp below and panned across at the hill tops and forrests, i believed i had made a good decision choosing to join the project. If i had travelled independentley i may not have been able to see such glorious countryside or real Thailand people and communities.
Day 4
Now this was probably the most physically demanding day ive had for a very long time. The inner core of my being had been tested to the max and my sense of humour was on zero! Let me explain....10am start on a supposedly 10km trek along flat terrain to a local village for some lunch and interaction. The trek wasnt on the intinary but they decided not to take us back to brwon house and thought it would be better if we visited the thai people and get another days trakking in aswell. Ok no problem with that...however we all sensed things were'nt really going to plan when the guide got lost within the first 10 minutes. The scenario tat followed consisted of a 90 degree accent up to another path, an hour of walking through thick bush up and down hills (aint too flat so far) then a short stop while the guides get a quick fag and we all sit around asking when will we get there and whens lunch. Long story short...after 4 hours of being told “another 30 minutes” or “just over the next hill” we finally arrived at the village. This was not before most of the troops were going purely on adrenalin, anger and the thought of a cold drink. While Laura and I were slumped on a rock, reduced to crying, followed by dilerious laughing as we were mentally, missing in action! We must have been totally recked as we were seriously considering getting a phone and calling for a helicopter to came and pick us up. The trek was in open grass land and the heat was unreal. The trek must have been about 20km and there was a disturbing rumour that we would have to trek back the same way.....a unanimous “fuck that shit” was heard and point blank refusal. I was so exhausted that i was willing to actually live at the village rather than walk that distance again!! The guides were'nt too hot on the idea either and eventually a couple of trucks were found and we all got lifts back to camp instead. Infact I later found out that they hadn't actually been to this village before and didn't necessarily know how far it was. Looks like we were giunea pigs on that one, but i dont think they will keeping that one for the project.
The village was really nice and the people were fascinated by us....probably because they had never seen white people before...christ man that was weird. They seem to like us though and even though we were all red faced, knackered and effing and blinding we all made an effort to interact with them.
So, dehydrated delerium, ebbing into history and another Thai experience waiting for us....The local tribe came and fed us some tasty rice and pork in banana leaves made in the traditional way. The children did a really nice traditional dance and were beautiful in their gowns and painted faces, however im not able to elaborate on the tribal people as no sooner had they arrived the bloody heavens opened and it pissed down! What a fucking nightmare....i really wanted to speak to the kids and say thank you but they had to scarper as the truck would have got bogged on their return. And that was the start of the evenings shenanigans.....
Intermittent rain, roaring thunder, spectacular lightening and a raging wind had most of the camp in disarray. A totally chaotic scene of flooded belongings, airborn tents, angry and screaming nutters, growling and barking dogs, cackles of hysterical laughter and the regular flash of cameras, set the basic tone for our last night on the hill top. Hong Thong and Pepsi along with chang and a stash pringles, set the tone for the rest of the time. It was like a bad year at Glastonbury!
Day 5
We were not happy campers....
Most of us were evacuated from our tents the night before, as they were either de-pegged or resembling a small paddling pool inside. Plus the organisers were all nice and snug in their tents and hardly raised an eye brow on hearing the news that a lot of peoples stuff was close to distruction and we were about 4 to a tent for some. I think its just their way myself....as Thai people rarely get angry or bothered or stressed and what would appear to look like an uncaring attitude is in actual fact their relaxed thoughtful persona.
However that drama over and we were all packed for our next camp....'The Dam'. Actually its more like a massive lake and i didnt recall seeing the dam bit. We were at least able to sleep in a local persons house in a big living room with lot of sockets!!!
Plus it was the night of the 'Full Moon Party' and seeing as we were all stuck in the middle of no-where we decided to have one of our own. On the pier over looking the dam, with karaoke and beer, watching the orange orb set and the silver white of the moon, majestically appear behind the clouds. We gazed out over a canvas of sparkling water and silhouetted trees. It was pretty spectacular and the air was filled with a positive charge that encouraged us all to enjoy the evening as much as possible and forget all about the previous days fiasco.
I personally had a ball...right up until i sat on a rubber ring only to find it was perched on the edge of some wooden boards and there was hardly any air in the thing!!!....Arse over tit and id fallen onto the next bit of pier, frantically making sure my camera and purse were ok.....my beer went sideways into Alice's surprised hands and my head hit the deck. I thought Laura was gonna wet herself and I had given in to crying with laughter, spread eagle, wandering if anyone else had seen...
The night carried on though and once my pride had recovered i quickly sank my beer and got involved with the horrendous singing and jumping on the decking...there were limbs everywhere and im sure Finch put his foot through a plank or two...
Day 6
Woke to find Mr. Cold and Co. had moved in upstairs. On looking in the mirror my chin has erupted into mount vesuevio and speaking at the moment is a little uncomfortable as my throat appears to be filled with some undescribable shit.
Add to that lovely collection of annoying discoveries, my finger nails are permenantly black, my legs are resembling a yeti and i give off a beautifully pungeont odore of deet and tiger balm. An attractive mix...
I knew all this boozing and eating of copeus amounts of crisps, sugary drinks and a diet predomenantly consisting of rice, was gonna start paying me back sooner or later. So, a decision to sort it out has been made, and seeing as today was the hotel stay, i think my timing was perfect. Im not the only one. A gap of sometimes 12 years between myself and the crew, doesnt mean a gap in the suffering of bodily ailments and general symptoms of tiredness, heat exhaustion, blisters, dehydration and a lack of vitamin c. We're all enjoying immensley, just having to ajust to temperatures and food that our guts are in constant war with, does tend to take the shine off certain moments.
Saturday- Suphanburi hotel
Had the best nights sleep since this whole experience started. The matress wasnt exactley brilliamt but the fact that there was air con, mini bar and even shit TV made all the difference. Not one for needing too much in the way of luxuries, i felt my body was definalely in need of something above the latest scumville ive been living in. Also found out today that my Ipod screen is buggered. I can still shuffle songs and the sound is fine but its pretty wrecked, so not even i escaped the floodings last thursday.
After breakfast......sorry just getting distracted by 'PK' one of the Thai organisers, cackling some pigeon english at the coach about the fact that the coach is too small for all the luggage and so it will follow us on another bus to Ko Samet. This is now followed by murmurings of docontent and utter annoyance at yet another disorganised fiasco....hahaha i love it. Its one thing after another with this lot. Thai people are so layed back their practically horizontal. I dont think brits are used to it and especially not happy that we've just heard the bags (my passport and flight tickets included) are outside the hotel with no supervision or idea of where they are supposed to be going. Fuck it....if any of my stuff goes missing I know ill be making sure they reinburse or replace them, so i aint fussing.
Well as you probably worked out by now we are all on board the coach raring to get to the island for a week of free time to explore or for most of them....lye on the beach all week. Cant believe the final week is upon us. Its gone so quickly and i keep thinking back to when i said goodbye to lucy at the coach station in Mildura.
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