Wednesday 9th January 2008

Well...well..well..what have I been up to this week, so far?

Ok, Sunday we finished our 'Lord of the Cringe' and 'Cliff Banger' and made for our ferry to the south island. Picton being our first destination. Didn't get in till midnight and so our only accommodation was a couple of sofa's. Actually they were pretty comfy and I slept better than some hostels I'd been in. Plus everywhere else was full, so it was either that or fujifilms doorway! Anyway that over with, we then followed another one of my 'lets get on the road and not plan anything and wing it' ideas and proceeded to hitch hike our way round the country...or at least to the next town anyway. So, on Monday...1st attempt..not too bad. Cool couple of spliff smoking, rave head dudes driving a beaten up camper with binbag for a window, massive sponge thing for our arses and a sellotaped windscreen (something to do with a baseball bat). Bloody awesome man! Well we only got as far as Blenheim which was only 20 minutes away. 2nd attempt....shit. No one was biting (most were just laughing) and my arms were killing me. So unfortunately we abandoned that one and grabbed a last minute seat on a bus to Christchurch...which should be renamed 'Christ..this is boring..church'. Another town, another bunch of shops and crap like that. The only interesting thing was the motel we stayed in. Bus driver sorted it cause we didn't have anywhere and he was doing his good Samaritan thing. What he kindly got us into was a kind of converted plywood shack, with resident evil...sorry cat, granny curtains and bedspreads, Xmas tree and behaviour instructions in lounge, obligatory removal of shoes before entering domain, a list of do's and don'ts to follow, front door locked by 10pm and for good measure, a bloody sheep tethered to a post, right out side our window. Jesus what a shock, I remember us trying to gag our hysterics whilst hoping the unusual looking oriental girls...and I don't mean their native look...I mean one looked like she had a broken nose and the other was definitely boss eyed....who were running the freak show, didn't come and check if all was ok. Anyway they were lovely really, if not a little controlled and disciplined in their attitude towards their guests. Unlike my 'out of control and undisciplined' attitude, bet they'd love me. Actually the sheep probably scuppered their usual clean and tidy order more, by all that baa...ring and shitting it was doing.

So Tuesday we decided to move on...onto Methven in fact, a nice little town that boasts lots of scenic walks, mountain biking, white water rafting, horse riding and lots of other country stuff. Couldn't actually get a bus there though and as we'd missed the hot air balloon (yes we did consider it) that heads there at 7am each morning, we got a bus to the next nearest town, Ashburton and decided to hitch it from there. Got two lifts...one old guy who took pity and dropped us on the road we were supposed to be hitching on....duuhhh..dum ass welsh, he must have thought. Then a tidy guy who lived in Methven, commuted to Ashburton, was moving house, had been to Wrexham, had lived in Australia, had worked in Liverpool, been to Chester, had a mate who got bad sunburn on a boat and now worked in the local dairy factory.(Yes I'm afraid eddy did get a rather severe if not enthusiastically friendly, interrogation from myself)..picked us up in his 4wd and took us all the way. It was only a 20 minute ride and we found a decent backpackers soon enough. All settled with just enough time for a cool ramble around Ratitata Gorge...only after getting a hire car though, cause theres one thing about New Zealand that isn't too grand and that's the transport system. Can't bloody walk through all the beautiful mountains and forests, unless you have wheels to get there in the first place! Anyway got an automatic Mazda...so no ripping it round new Zealand or toasting the gear box for me..dam.

Wednesday we headed for another trek. Left at 7 am, wasn't sure we would actually get going by then as at 3am we were both rudely awoken by a terrifying sound. Someone in the town thought it acceptable to start an air raid siren to call the local fire brigade."What the hell is that" I shouted in the dark and within the time it took for another two klaxons to scream...It was jumper on...flip-flops set and Swiss army knife ready in hand. Simon however had just about finished rubbing his eyes (fat lot of good he'd be in an emergency). I was just about to leave and check what's going on when a horrid thought came to me. You know when you watch a scary film and theres always an inquisitive kid or girl who just has to check the cellar or find out where that sound came from....and then ends up being bludgeoned for their stupidity. Well, they are the people I always shout at from my sofa and with that thought in mind...I closed the door and quickly pegged it back to bed. Simon had hardly moved anyway, so we just waited. Those sirens are frighteningly loud and unsettling and would have scared the life out of me in war time. We did make it to Mount Somers after a 2 hour drive (its only 34 minutes away) to find the sign...the car park..and the correct path. Bloody rubbish signs here.

Not sure of the altitude but judging by Simon's gasps of fear and cries of dread...it was high. Took us about 5 hrs 30mins to complete though, so we're really going for it now...cooking on gas! Plus we ain't touched a drop of booze, so the wager is still on. Getting all healthy now...as after seeing my skydive dvd (it will be published..when it turns up) I feel I've started to resemble a rather well done brandy pudding...in girth and colour.

The trek was soooo cool. Being amongst the clouds, listening to the sounds of birds, crickets and dragonflies. Hearing the trickle of a nearby stream and walking under the natural canopy of snaking branches, was an awesome experience. (i know I use that word alot).

New Zealand is rich in agriculture, mythical in appearance and unrelenting in its ability to keep your eyes bedazzled by scene after scene of almost unreal landscapes. Sometimes I would narrow my eyes and hold my hand out in front of me, with the slim if not unrealistic hope, that I maybe able to touch that magical canvas with my wavering finger tips. A world so much like the green luscious valleys and rolling hillsides (sheep included) of home, that on occasion the intoxicating splendour can be almost too much to take in.

The people of new Zealand are equally generous, with their own natural charms too. Demonstrating superb hospitality and naturally trusting in nature. They make this country what it is and do not take its treasures for granted. They are always helpful, knowledgeable and proud of their heritage.